


everything i hold dear resides in those eyes

by harsa (dearestwinter)



Series: Ragnarssons the Bikings [3]
Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Brother/Brother Incest, Canon-Typical Violence, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sibling Incest, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22590727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearestwinter/pseuds/harsa
Summary: Hvitserk gets hurt in battle.
Relationships: Hvitserk/Ubbe (Vikings)
Series: Ragnarssons the Bikings [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615831
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	everything i hold dear resides in those eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of my fic [save a horse, ride a viking](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013368)
> 
> I needed to write something for these soft boys. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> English is not my first language, sorry if there are grammatical errors. 
> 
> This fic's title is borrowed from the song Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy.

Ubbe sighs, looking around once again. He's in charge of walking the parapets, searching for any weak spot in their defenses. The thing is, he's been doing this all day now. Going from one corner of town to the next, giving the men and women a hand whenever they need it, and making sure nothing goes to shit earlier than expected. 

Because they expect an attack. Maybe not today, but surely tomorrow. Ubbe can see the warriors are not too worried about it, getting ready for battle as if it is a daily chore. But some of the wiser ones are, mainly old people who are willing to defend their homes even knowing the chances for survival are low.

A powerful Earl coming from the north with a fleet and an army two thousand strong. Ubbe stares into the horizon, shielding his eyes against the afternoon sun, the cool wind beating on his face like shards of glass. He can see the longships anchored well out of the fjord and into the sea, forming a line to avoid any Kattegat ship from leaving. If he turns his eyes eastward to the entrance of the town, he can see the Earl's camp half a mile away. That was their first mistake, as Father had told them around the fire a few days ago, letting them block their retreat on land. At least they have the mountains should they be overwhelmed in battle, Ubbe reasons with himself. 

Suddenly the sound of a horn cuts through the air, drowning out all noise from the people still working on the defenses. They all fall silent at once, trying to figure out from where it came. Ubbe sees out of the corner of his eye a blond figure running towards him, who's standing on the watchtower. He spares a glance to Sigurd's wild eyes and goes back to staring pensively at the enemy camp. 

"What the fuck was that for?", his brother asks, still panting from his previous run.

"Nothing to be worried about," he replies. "It came from the enemy. Might be a signal for change of shifts, or some other duty. "

Sigurd frowns. "So we're not under attack yet?" 

"Not yet, brother." 

Sigurd nods, and goes back to whatever he was doing down by the gates. Ubbe watches him for a moment; it's a good thing Father gave him charge of the east side, as they know the first wave of attack is going to come from land, and Ubbe can prove his worth. But he's not doing it alone, as Hvitserk and Sigurd will be by his side when the battle begins. Ragnar, Bjorn, and Ivar take turns on the west and north fronts, where their sea force is.

But for all that Ubbe feels comfortable in his new role as a leader, he's not so sure about his role as a big brother. He had agreed to take Sigurd with him as a way to avoid any fights between Ivar and him. Hvitserk, on the other hand… Ubbe sighs. After that night, he doesn't know what to think about his brother. He can try to blame it on the ale, delude himself thinking it was nothing, just something that got out of control because they were drunk. But that wouldn't be quite true, and he knows it. 

They had enjoyed it too much. They could have stopped whenever they wanted to, but they hadn't. And now things are kind of awkward between them, and Ubbe doesn't know how to leave it all behind so they can go back to normal. Because he would really be lying to himself if he said he wouldn't want another night with Hvitserk in his bed, this time squirming  _ under  _ himself, as Ubbe pushes his cock deep inside him and hears those sweet moans out of his brother's mouth. 

Ubbe's steps take him to the south wall almost without him realizing, and he shakes his head to chase those thoughts away. He sees Hvitserk down by the barrels eating a piece of an apple with the point of his dagger, while talking to some of the men. Ubbe feels his cock stirring inside his breeches at the sight, and curses himself mentally as he walks down the wooden stairs. 

"Everything okay, brother?", asks Hvitserk, clapping Ubbe's shoulder. 

"Yeah. How is it going here?" 

"Me and the boys are almost done with repairing," he replies. 

Ubbe nods, and tells the men to go back to their duties. Hvitserk smirks. 

"So, am I supposed to go back to work too?" 

Ubbe shrugs, trying to look unbothered, but his heart is pounding inside his chest. "Not if you want those arseholes out there to practice their aim on you." 

"Fair enough." 

Ubbe goes back to his post before he can say or do some other stupid thing. What he doesn't know is how much he would regret saying those words the next day. 

Kattegat is attacked at sunset. 

They are more prepared than yesterday, but less that they could have benefited from another day of hard working. Ubbe figures that they did their best, and they will make up for it by fighting tooth and nail to defend their home. He watches the enemy march to the gates with a stony face, knowing that people are looking to him for instructions. He takes his axe in hand while he commands the archers to ready their bows and arrows, and crossbows. 

Then he whistles, and the gates are opened. 

Ubbe hopes the element of surprise is enough to make this work. He goes down the parapets to get ready for the fight. Hvitserk and Sigurd will alternate between the battles inside and outside of Kattegat, and commanding the archers. Ubbe will be outside, where the thick of battle is. But first they need to dwindle their numbers by letting them inside their walls in waves of a dozen men or so. 

The horn blasts twice, and the battle begins. 

Ubbe cuts through his enemies without much trouble for the first quarter of an hour, but then the sky rumbles above them and rain starts pouring down in buckets. He curses, as the battlefield becomes puddles of mud and blood, strewn bodies everywhere, and the water running down his face makes him hard to see anything beyond the red of the enemy's shields. Still, it's enough for Ubbe, and even as he's tackled down to the ground and the woman's axe almost slices through his armor, he's not worried. Ubbe knees her in the stomach, knocking the breath of her lungs, which gives him time to shove her to one side and bury his axe in her head. 

He stands up, adrenaline still running through his veins, and turns his head to watch Hvitserk fighting off a foe several feet away, laughing all the while, even after he axed the man in the chest. So distracted is he trying to get the axe out of the man's chest, that he doesn't see another man coming from behind him, dagger in hand. 

"HVITSERK!" 

His brother turns a second too late, surprise etched in his face as the man's dagger pierces through his belly in a fast movement that leaves him no time to block it. Ubbe is running, the noise of battle around him drowned out by the thundering of his heart in his ears. He runs to his brother, who falls to the ground seeming as lifeless as a ragdoll, and blood starts to ooze out of the wound profusely when the man takes the dagger out. 

Ubbe wastes no second in killing the man, his body falling on the mud with a squelching sound. Hvitserk has his eyes open but they're glassy, and he's already pale with blood loss. Ubbe cradles him up against his chest, pressing a hand to the wound, and tries not to think of how hot the blood is and how fast is coming out. 

"It's alright, brother. I'm here, everything's alright." 

"Ubbe…", Hvitserk's voice is almost a whisper. 

"Shh, don't talk. You need to stay awake, can you do that for me?" 

Hvitserk nods quickly, but his eyes are losing their focus on Ubbe's, and the horrible realization that life is abandoning his brother's body is unbearable. Ubbe has no idea how he hears someone running towards them, but when he looks up it's Sigurd, who stops to cut down a man with a tattooed face and a red shield, and who was about to strike Ubbe dead with a warhammer. 

"What happened?", Sigurd asks as he sinks by Hvitserk's side. 

"Someone stabbed him. We need to get him away from here," Ubbe turns to Hvitserk. "Hey, you can't go to sleep, you hear me? I need to lift you." 

Hvitserk doesn't reply, but Ubbe only cares that he's still alive, that he can be saved yet.  _ Please don't leave me, you can't leave me.  _

"Cover us," he tells Sigurd.

* * *

He has no idea of what time it is, who won the battle, or who's dead. He doesn't even remember how they arrived here, although he figures that running like a madman through the streets with a dying Hvitserk in his arms might be a close guess. Ubbe sighs, running his hand over his face once again. He feels tired to the bone and sick with worry, as he stares at the closed door. Behind it, Hvitserk is lying on the bed Ubbe placed him in when they came, the healers and Aslaug working on him. She didn't let him stay, and even had to threaten to get him kicked out of the room when Ubbe made no movement to let go of his brother's hand. Sigurd had made him company sitting on the ground outside the room for an hour, but then he said something Ubbe didn't even hear and went out.

The door opens and the healers, two women and an old man come out, but their faces don't show any hint of what may have happened to Hvitserk. Ubbe barely notices the rags wet with blood one of the women carry in a basket. Aslaug grips the doorframe tightly as she locks eyes with Ubbe and beckons him inside. 

At first he doesn't recognize the boy lying on that bed. He's still too pale, too silent. At least someone washed the blood and mud away from his face, but his now unbraided hair is still matted and dirty with those. Ubbe approaches carefully, afraid to disturb him. Aslaug takes a seat on the bed by Hvitserk's legs, and takes his limp hand in hers. 

"The healers said he needs to make it through the night first, so we can be sure he will survive."

Ubbe nods, but he feels too numb for the words to truly sink in.

"What about the…?" he asks, not even knowing  _ what  _ he's asking about. 

"The dagger missed any vital organ, but he still lost too much blood," replies Aslaug, somehow knowing what to say. 

Ubbe kneels by the bed, not taking his eyes off Hvitserk's pale face. His heart twists in his chest at seeing him so vulnerable, walking the fine line between life and death.

"Is he going to wake up soon?"

Aslaug glances at him. "They gave him some herbs to put him to sleep, Ubbe." 

Ubbe feels chastised. He gently brushes a stray lock of hair out of Hvitserk's face, noticing his skin clammy and cold with feverish sweat.

"I have sent for someone to tell your father about this, but he still hasn't come back," says Aslaug. 

"Who came back?" 

"Ivar and Bjorn. They said they could make the foe retreat back into the sea. The fire strategy worked until the storm came about."

Ubbe frowns. He remembers being there when they discussed about using fire boulders to burn the enemy's ships. Ivar had been as excited as a kid with a new toy.

"So, Father and Sigurd are still out there." 

Aslaug purses her lips in a thin line. "It's nearly midnight. We need to bring them back." 

Ubbe looks at Hvitserk's sleeping face, and once again he can't bring himself to part with him. Soon he finds out he doesn't need to, as Sigurd comes back bearing news that Ragnar and the warriors had captured the Earl along with a few of his berserkers.

That night is the longest night in Ubbe's life. He spends it sitting on a chair by Hvitserk's bedside, the threat of sleep looming over him, but whenever he closes his eyes he's jerked awake a few seconds later by raw worry. Aslaug comes and goes, her face not betraying any feeling, but Ubbe knows that it is a façade by the way she wrings her hands incessantly as she does when she's nervous. Ubbe's brothers take turns coming in, and even Ragnar stops by often, as sleepless as Ubbe is. 

Dawn breaks and Hvitserk is still breathing. The healers come and Ubbe refuses to leave the room this time, holding his mother's gaze in silent defiance. He's exhausted and wobbles on his feet, but still he wants to stay and be assured that his brother won't be on his way to Valhalla today. He's in luck; the healers say he's not getting worse, but he's not getting better either. That last bit Ubbe hears it implied in their words. Ivar enters the room when the healers are gone, and squeezes Ubbe's shoulder, telling him to go to sleep and that he will take watch from here. Ubbe is too tired to complain, but still he hates to go, even for a few hours.

Days blur together uneventfully, until one morning when Ubbe is having breakfast in Hvitserk's sickroom, he hears his brother stir from his slumber. Ubbe is there in a second, and those green eyes look up at him bright and confused.

"Ubbe?" he asks, voice raspy with sleep and disuse. 

"Hey, you. How are you feeling?"

Hvitserk looks around as far as his eyesight goes and tries to sit up. Ubbe helps him, watching his face all the time and grits his teeth at seeing Hvitserk's grimace of pain. 

"Like I've been trampled under a horse's hooves."

Ubbe snorts. "Not quite. Do you remember anything that happened?" 

"Yeah, but not everything," he admits. 

"It's alright, brother."

They stay silent for a while, and Ubbe could think Hvitserk fell asleep again if he wasn't watching him so closely. 

"Shit," Hvitserk exclaims eventually. "Everyone's alright?" 

Ubbe launches himself into explaining a shortened version of the events between helping Hvitserk drink water and eat some fruit. Ubbe had left Hvitserk's side long enough to attend the executions of the Earl's men by burning on a great pyre. As for the Earl, he had been blood-eagled by Ragnar, although to his credit he hadn't cried out once during the whole affair.

Hvitserk listens to Ubbe's words, but he's still clearly too exhausted and in pain to keep a conversation going, falling asleep as Ubbe goes out of the room to let Aslaug know he was awake. Several hours later, Hvitserk is awakened by the need to relieve himself, so Ubbe helps him undo his breeches. His mind unhelpfully supplies memories of their passionate night from a few weeks ago, before Ubbe reprimands himself. It's not the right time for that.

It's on the next night, when Hvitserk's fever breaks and he can stay awake for more than half an hour. His eyes lose that feverbrightness and become sharper, and he can stand up and stay on his feet with some help. Ubbe is there for everything, and as he's cleaning the wound, Hvitserk tells him so. 

"I'll make a carer out of you yet." 

Ubbe smiles, not stopping with his task. The wound will leave a prominent scar, but it's healing quite nicely. He applies some salve, and lets it dry. 

"I don't mind. Not if it's you," he says. 

Hvitserk watches him for a moment, before taking his hand. 

"These last couple of weeks," he starts. 

_ "Hvitserk." _

"Let me finish, Ubbe. I don't regret anything that happened that night, and I know you don't either. And I don't want us to go back to what we were before that, not after knowing you feel something else for me. As I do for you." 

Ubbe sighs. "I don't want that either. But it's hard just admitting to myself how badly I want you. You're my little brother." 

"But we feel this for each other, and it's not gonna go away.  _ I  _ have felt this for so long, Ubbe. I wouldn't have had the courage to take the first step if I hadn't been sure of my feelings." 

Ubbe raises a hand to Hvitserk face, cupping his cheek. His brother leans into the touch. 

"Alright."

Hvitserk smiles, and his lips connect with Ubbe's, sending a warm feeling to the pit of his stomach. Hvitserk squirms to change his position as he tries to deepen the kiss, but Ubbe hears the sharp intake of breath as the movement pulls at the stitches. 

"Easy," Ubbe tells him. Hvitserk shakes his head but complies, breaking the kiss to rest his forehead on Ubbe's shoulder and catch his breath. 

"Once you're feeling a bit better, we can take this further. For now you need to rest, Hvitserk." 

He rolls his eyes at this. "I've rested too much already." 

Ubbe smiles as he helps Hvitserk get settled to sleep. A hand grips his wrist and tugs in a silent plea, and Ubbe lies on top of the furs, close to Hvitserk but still minding the way he places his arm around his brother's waist as to not to touch the wound. If it hurts him, Hvitserk doesn't let him know because he's already snoring softly beside him. 

Ubbe's smile only widens as he makes himself comfortable for another night being his brother's keeper.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [tumblr.](https://%20maegelletargaryen.tumblr.com)


End file.
